Twelve Truths
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60′s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004:
Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). At Blockbuster you’re two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration
Oh shit that is too funny LMAO
EXCELLENT
I love 8, 9 & 10 … so true.
12 is great. The whole list is great but 12 is greater….
ps. those smilies look suspiciously familiar.
having experiance with both blockbuster and the INS or whatever it is called now, I can safely say the #12 needs to be signed into law immediatly.
:: Announcement :: Astro doesn’t have a sandwich.
Hey Lisa, can you give mrs. knight a call and let her know too????
LOL! Great list.
Way too funny!:lol:
Too true! Loved it, thanks for sharing.
Brilliant!!
HAHAHAHA. that list is hilarious.
I vote for #’s 3,4,10, & 11. Very funny stuff!
Oddly enough, today’s post was on a very similar note, foot, floor. So to you, I raise a toast, humming “Oh yes, Peter, it does go well with the chicken.”
Very creative.
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